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Social Success Breeds Academic Success for Children with Aspergers

By Meghan Vivo

Imagine being called names, never getting chosen for sports teams or clubs, and going to school, sitting in class and going home every day – alone. This is the experience of many teens with Asperger’s Syndrome.

And though it may seem inconsequential not to have friends in middle school or high school, social struggles lead to academic struggles, says Carol Ranstad, the Academic Director at New Leaf Academy of Oregon, a therapeutic boarding school for girls ages 10 to 14. As a result, teens with Asperger’s often become isolated or withdrawn, develop low self-esteem, and find themselves failing at school even though they are bright and capable.

“The middle school and high school years are a time of social awkwardness,” notes Ranstad. “Kids who struggle socially have a harder time achieving success at school and are at greater risk for emotional and behavioral problems.”

Because the staff at New Leaf Academy all-girls school understands the link between social skills and academic success, the teachers and therapists help students practice making friends and getting involved in social events. Ranstad offers the following suggestions to parents who are concerned about their child’s social or academic performance:

Encourage Healthy Friendships. Most teens with Asperger’s want friends but don’t understand the nuances of social interaction. Although all parents want their child to be liked, pressuring your child to be popular may attract the wrong kind of friends. Teens who are desperate to make friends may fall into a negative peer group or establish superficial friendships that aren’t productive or fulfilling. Instead, advises Ranstad, encourage your child to find one or two good friends who they really connect with and understand.

“It’s not the breadth of friendships that matters, but the depth,” she says.

Get Involved Early. Friendships don’t create themselves simply by virtue of a child attending school, warns Ranstad. “Children with Asperger’s have social challenges that make it difficult for them to reach out to others,” she says. “If a child waits for others to approach her or befriends whoever accepts her, there’s a good chance she will end up in an at-risk group or with friends who are negative influences.”

Teens with Asperger’s fare best when they put themselves in situations where one-on-one friendships are likely to form. A teen who gets involved in school activities, sports, clubs, service organizations, or the school newspaper or yearbook is more likely to make friends with teens with healthy home lives and healthy relationships.

“Getting involved helps teens with Asperger’s identify themselves with a group of good kids and provides a sense of belonging and pride,” says Ranstad. “This gives them a reason to go to school and earn good grades so they can keep participating in a fun activity with kids they like.”

Teens may also want to find a part-time job or get involved in activities outside of school, such as a church youth group or community sports team, in order to build social skills. If parents get to know the group leader and let them know about their child’s special needs, the leader can set up opportunities for the child to form friendships.

Whatever activity your teen chooses, make sure they get involved at the start of the school year or when beginning classes at a new school. Talk to your child about what their interests might be and help them figure out how to get involved. Once they choose an activity, encourage them to take on a leadership role, which will help build their confidence and increase their social involvement.

Seek Help. Cultivating social skills in your teen is more than a one-person job. While parents are instrumental, school, teachers and peers also have a lot of influence on your child’s development. If you need help, find a school that offers social skills classes or specializes in working with teens with Asperger’s.

If necessary, you may also want to enlist the help of a “social coach” (a trusted adult at school such as a counselor, teacher or sports coach) who is willing to connect with your child once a day when she needs to problem-solve a situation or get encouragement after an awkward moment during the day, says Ranstad.

At New Leaf Academy of Oregon, teens learn how to be independent and create a sense of security for themselves in a new environment. “I really admire these girls’ courage,” says Ranstad. “They build so much strength which they are able to draw upon in their next environment.”

Through role modeling, positive reinforcement and involvement in various types of extracurricular activities, students at New Leaf hone their social skills. At the same time, their teachers gear the classroom environment and lesson plans to each student’s unique learning style, providing plenty of one-on-one instruction and utilizing specialized learning tools. As a result, students at New Leaf make impressive gains in both social skills and academic achievement.

Social skills are essential for teens with Asperger’s to establish healthy relationships, make responsible decisions and live up to their potential at school. Make sure your child’s school environment is one that is supportive of your child’s unique strengths and challenges and that focuses not only on academic achievement but also on the other aspects of life that impact school success.

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