Why You Might Consider Boarding School for Your Daughter
1. Your daughter is not achieving her academic potential.
Many adolescent girls do not flourish in public education or private day schools, especially if they are co-educational. Girls often get “off track” in these settings which are not set up for their particular needs. It is very common for a girl who was high achieving in the primary grades to lose ground academically about age twelve, or when she first enters middle school (Ref 6).
There are many reasons why a bright preteen girl loses ground in a customary educational setting. If her school is very large, she will get little or no individual attention from counselors and teachers. If it is a co-ed school, her classes will be set up according to a male model of thinking and learning. Her teachers, both male and female, are likely to give more time and attention to boy students. In addition, a girl may experience daily sexual harassment and pressure to behave in stereotypically female ways (See Refs 1-2, 5-7).
On the other hand, an all-girls boarding school is a 24-hour environment where girls live in a community designed especially for the needs of adolescent females. It is a place where girls can mature and succeed. They will also take over all the positions of leadership at the school.
2. Your daughter needs individual attention and a personalized approach to her education.
Girls in boarding schools benefit from individual attention and personal relationships with their teachers and counselors. These adults will actively help them set goals and make plans for their futures for both college and career. There is also an intangible aspect to becoming part of a small fellowship where everyone knows your name and is your potential friend. Boarding schools provide students with a real chance of belonging to a small, close-knit community.
Nearly all students perform better in small classes with a lot of individual attention from their teachers. Boarding school can offer this advantage. In a four-year study of class size in Tennessee, children who spent kindergarten through third grade in small classes were an average 7.1 months ahead of those who studied in large classes (Ref 8). If your child needs individual counseling and special encouragement, that will be available for her.
3. Your daughter needs a new beginning with friends and family.
Many girls will benefit from a fresh start in a new living situation. A girl who acts angry and defiant at home will often behave better in a boarding school where the same rules apply evenly to every student. The tension about rules is no longer between her and her parents. Since all the students are in the same boat at a boarding school, there is nothing personal about following rules and having consequences. Her life will become more structured around her studies and extracurricular activities in a place where there are regular hours for classes, tutoring, study, and recreation.
Sometimes a girl may be associating with a peer group that does not reflect her parents’ values. Boarding school placement separates her from such negative influences and gives her a chance to make new friends in a situation supervised by adults.
Often the very structure of the boarding school will force a girl to try out things she could easily avoid in her old setting. For example, most boarding schools require participation in some physical education every day. Girls often discover athletic ability they never knew they had. Girls who were doing poorly in math and science often do quite well in a classroom where these subjects are taught in a female-friendly way.
- Your family needs a fresh start too.
Psychologist Phillip Barker writes, “The fact is many children are admitted because those caring for them or their school or home or community have had enough of them or at least their disturbed behavior. The main reason is to give the family a break. Such a reason is legitimate” (Ref 3).
Sometimes a boarding school placement allows a family to “decompress.” Parents and siblings can use this break to regroup and rethink their own behavior, as the child meanwhile learns better ways of coping and managing her behaviors within the structure of boarding school. Even a break of a few months can be healing for everyone involved.
