Boarding Schools for Girls

In an Oct. 21 article on www.advocateweekly.com, writer Nichole Dupont reports on author Rachel Simmons' view that destructive all or nothing thinking dooms many young girls to feeling like failures when they cant achieve perfection:

"What girls need is a careful balance between self-concept and the mistakes they will inevitably make. That is, a girl's fierce denial suggests a refusal to admit a mistake into her idea of who she is, a slamming and bolting of an internal door," [Simmons] said.

Girls regard their mistakes as problems with themselves, not as opportunities to learn and grow. Therefore, when a girl gets a less-than-stellar grade on an essay, she will, in most cases, immediately jump to the conclusion that the teacher doesn't like her. In the same vein, if a girl makes a bad play on the soccer field, she will assume that her teammates hate her.

These assumptions that girls make about others lead to distorted thinking in which "being nice at all costs (is) the prime directive" of the "Good Girl."

The extremes to which girls go to be perfect, both physically and socially, lead to "all-or-nothing thinking" in which any failure a girl experiences is interpreted as "catastrophic."

Simmons is the author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls and The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence.

Labels: parenting, self-esteem, daughters

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A youth empowerment program in Aiken, South Carolina will soon be providing additional support and assistance to at-risk girls in grades five and six via a weekly school-based "Girls Circle" initiative.

An Aug. 27 article by Rob Novit of the Aiken Standard provided the following information about the effort:

Girls Circle will function almost as a support group but will deal with specific topics, said agency Executive Director Susan Meehan.

The girls will get advice on saying "no" when they feel pressure from guys. But the program is also intended to help them feel more connected with other girls.

"When you address girls in a girls' setting, you can help them talk through this in a different way about the attitudes that can lead to early sexual behavior," Meehan said.

[Agency Program Director Sondra] Thomas hopes to reduce or prevent at-risk activities with the fifth- and sixth-grade girls by helping build self-sufficiency and letting them know they don't need someone else to validate them.

Is your middle-school-aged child suffering from emotional or behavioral problems related to self-esteem, self-confidence or self-reliance? If so, take a moment to learn more about how a private boarding school for girls such as New Leaf Academy can help your struggling daughter grow into a self-sufficient teenager and a strong, successful adult.

Labels: at-risk youth, middle school, self-esteem

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Australia's Spinifex Press has announced the publication of a new collection of essays on the sexualization and objectification of girls in modern society. According to a Spinifex release, Getting Real: Challenging the Sexualisation of Girls addresses the many unhealthy effects associated with this unfortunately prevalent problem:

From advertising and merchandising to Bratz and Voodoo Dolls to the Henson affair, Getting Real puts the spotlight on the sexualisation and objectification of girls and women in the media, popular culture and society.

Girls are portrayed as sexual at younger ages, pressured to conform to a "thin, hot, sexy" norm. Clothing, music, magazines, toys and games send girls the message that they are merely the sum of their body parts. The effects of prematurely sexualising girls are borne out in their bodies and minds, with a rise in self-destructive behaviours such as eating disorders and self-harm, along with anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.

Getting Real is edited by Melinda Tankard Reist, an author, women's advocate, and founder of Women's Forum Australia.

Labels: mental health, sex, self-esteem

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Women eat less when they dine with men but not when they are eating in female groups, according to a new study from Canada's McMaster University.

• Dr. Meredith Young said women in her study tended to choose foods with lower calories when they ate in mixed gender groups or when they ate with men.
• The more men in the group, the fewer the calories the women ate.
• However, in all-female groups, women consumed higher calorie foods.

The results of the study may indicate that many women continue to suffer from poor self-image or remain beholden to unrealistic (and unhealthy) standards of beauty.

"Smaller healthier portions are seen as more feminine, and women may believe that if they eat less they will be considered more attractive to men," Dr. Young said in an article in the journal Appetite.

Labels: self-esteem, research

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In a July 6 letter to boston.com parenting expert Barbara Meltz, a parent expressed concerns about her young daughter's worries about weight and body size:

QUESTION: My daughter, age 9, has recently started talking about her weight. She refers to herself as fat, talks about how big her tummy is. Initially, I ignored this, hoping it was short-term. Well, it's not - this has persisted for 3 to 4 months. She is not fat: she is very muscular and athletic and just right.

ANSWER: While you don't want to over-react, disordered eating is what leads to eating disorders, and disordered thinking is a big piece of that. So keep your pediatrician in the loop and familiarize yourself with the danger signs of eating disorders just as a point of education.

Now, since she eats a pretty healthy diet as it is, ramp down the conversation about what she eats. Stop making suggestions (unless she asks your opinion) and relegate the topic of food to a minor one in your home.

Meltz also advised the mother to monitor the types of media her child is viewing, set a positive example, emphasize healthy behaviors instead of merely healthy eating, and develop an appreciation for the beauty of size diversity.

Other experts have noted that parents play an important role in helping daughters develop healthy self-esteem, which can significantly reduce their risk of struggling with an eating disorder.

Labels: weight-gain, self-esteem, body image

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A group of high school girls in Rochester, Minnesota, want their peers to stop "body bashing" and learn to appreciate the way they look. With that in mind, the group has joined a decade-old effort entitled "GO GIRLS!"

"GO GIRLS! is a 12-week curriculum developed in 1998 by the National Eating Disorders Association as a tool to prevent eating disorders among girls," the Post-Bulletin newspaper reported. "The curriculum focuses on body image issues and self-esteem, the effect media has on body image and awareness of eating disorders and prevention."

The GO GIRLS! program began in 1999 as a pilot project at Minnesota's Red Wing High School, where it continues to this day.

Labels: self-esteem, body image, peer_pressure

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Two Ohio Girl Scouts, Raychel Santo and Kylie Bushroe, have created a program aimed at helping preteens develop healthy self-esteem and resist peer pressure and other unhealthy influences that can lead to problems such as depression and eating disorders. Dayton Daily News writer Brittney Hunn featured the two scouts in a June 11 article:

Having first-hand experience of junior high and high school pressures such as violence, eating disorders, cliques and depression, [Santo and Bushroe] came up with an idea to spread the word of self awareness.

The Scouts have put together a workshop promoting girls to "Be Youtiful" in efforts to gain a Gold Award, the highest achievement a 15- to 17-year-old Girl Scout can earn. The workshop is meant to prevent low self-esteem in preteen girls from sixth to eighth grade.

Self-esteem issues in teen girls are very common. How teens feel about themselves is reflected in their actions. If they have high self-esteem, they tend to act independently, assume responsibility, attempt new tasks and can handle different emotions. Those who have low self-esteem tend to avoid new things, put down their talents, blame others for shortcomings and are easily influenced, according to the Child Development Institute.

The girls' first workshop was scheduled for June 14 at the Bellbrook SugarCreek Community Center in Dayton, Ohio.

Labels: self-esteem, peer_pressure, ohio

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Most women admit to being dissatisfied with their bodies. But most are also focused on the wrong things: size instead of health, or calorie reduction instead of healthy eating. Even women whose body mass index (BMI) were within a healthy range said they thought they were overweight.

"The priorities are flipped," Dr. Molly Poag, chief of psychiatry at New York's Lennox Hill Hospital, said in a May 11 article by Associated Press writer Lauran Neergaard. Female athletes, Dr. Poag told the AP writer, are much better role models than supermodels are. "There's an undervaluing of physical fitness and an overhauling of absolute weight and appearance for women in our culture."

An AP-iVilliage poll of 1,000 adult women found that half didn't like their weight, but just one-third disliked their physical condition. This evidence supports the common perception that the popular focus in our society is on appearance, rather than health -- a notion that is both backwards and potentially dangerous.

At boarding schools such as New Leaf Academy in Hendersonville, North Carolina, providing a wide range of academic support services and therapeutic opportunities are among the many efforts that are focused on building female students' self-confidence and improving self-esteem for girls.

Labels: health, self-esteem, body image

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An Australian study has led researchers to conclude that teen girls who have sex before they are emotionally ready are likely to regret the experience.

According to a May 20 article on the Indian Express website, a research team from the University of Western Australia interviewed reached this conclusion after interviewing 68 teen girls (ages 14 to 19).

"If they have sex at a young age, before they are ready, it is reflected on as an unpleasant experience which they regret. This is an undesirable outcome in itself," said Dr Rachel Skinner, the study's lead researcher.

Early sexual activity, the article reported, has been associated with a number of risk factors, including unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Mental health experts have also noted that teen sex can lower self-esteem and damage a young person's emotional health.

Labels: teenagers, sex, self-esteem

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Parents whose daughters are obsessed with Facebook and other online social networking sites may want to take a closer look at their daughter's self-esteem. College students who constantly update their Facebook pages and who publish "self-promoting" pictures of themselves on their profiles suffer from narcissism or low self-esteem, according to a new study from York University.

• Soraya Mehdizadeh studied the online habits and personalities of 100 York students who used the social network website, Facebook.
• Those who engaged in self-promotion by posting pictures of themselves in glamorous settings or ones that were enhanced by computer software and those who bragged about themselves in their "about me" sections were more likely to be either narcissistic or insecure.

"They are updating their status every five minutes and the photos they post are carefully construed," she said. "The question is, are these really accurate representations of the individual or are they merely a projection of who the individual wants to be?"

This study appears in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking.

 

Labels: self-esteem, online, social networking

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More than 170 girls who attended an Urban League conference in New Jersey's Hudson County Community College heard a motivational message designed to improve their esteem, self-confidence and ability to succeed:

Patricia Robinson, the Urban League of Hudson County's director of Education and Youth Development said the main purpose of the conference was to make sure teenage girls know about the many resources available to them. Each girl was given a hefty director of resources available to them as part of the conference packet.

"It's about empowerment. Empowerment to define yourself and to have access to the resources you need," said Robinson. She said she hoped participants would walk away inspired.

"You can be anything that you can dream of. Define yourself and believe in yourself," she said.

Reporter Amy Sarah Clark covered the event for the Jersey Journal.

Labels: self-esteem

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